It almost feels surreal to be sitting down to write my second birth story as my almost-2-year-old constantly runs from one end of our house to the other and my 2-month-old is already wearing 6-month clothes. But I’m so grateful for these two wild kiddos and the opportunity I have to be their mama.
This pregnancy was very different than my first, with nausea in the first trimester, sickness in the third, and general discomfort almost the whole time – especially during the last few weeks. My midwife suspected I had SPD which made changing positions, particularly getting in and out of bed, painful and difficult. Not to mention the little guy was in a posterior position which didn’t help. Additionally, I had contractions nearly every night during the last two weeks or so, and sometimes during the day.
As you can imagine, I felt immense relief when labor finally started! The day before – Monday, April 25th – we had a chiropractor appointment scheduled. I was looking forward to going and getting some relief, when I started to have real contractions about twenty minutes before we needed to leave. They were inconsistent and still manageable, so after discussing for a few minutes we decided it was worth the risk. We brought a few clean towels with us just in case though. The contractions stopped sometime during the car ride.
I was getting very impatient.
Lydia came a day early, and at this point we were a few days past little man’s estimated due date. We had tried all the things, and nothing stuck. Of course, nothing is going to make baby come until baby is ready, and the Lord sovereignly chooses each birth day. But it is hard to remember that when you’re past forty weeks and in almost constant pain.
So that night I drank red raspberry leaf + chamomile tea and tried acupressure for the first time, at some points that were supposed to help kickstart labor. I think we watched the second Mazerunner movie while I did some movements on my birth ball.
When we went to bed that night, I felt energetic. “I just have a feeling about tonight,” I told Joshua, who yawned and replied, “In that case, we should try to sleep while we can.”
Well, Lydia decided that would be the night to start waking up in the middle of the night again after months of perfect sleep. She woke up around 2 am, and decided she was not going to go back to sleep. Joshua and I took turns popping in to tuck in again, comfort, soothe, whatever. Nothing was working. My poor husband was in there with her for what felt like the hundredth time when the contractions started, around 4:15 am. But this time they were different. I could tell almost right away that this was it and I was so excited! We were finally going to meet this baby!
I timed a few of the contractions before sneaking into the darkness of Lydia’s room, where she was finally starting to drift off to sleep, and whispered to Joshua, “I think labor is starting. I’m going to call the doula.” I called her at 4:48 am and called my midwife about half an hour later. Both of them live about an hour away.
The first stage of labor was amazing
After calling my doula, Olivia, I made some red raspberry leaf tea and a huge cup of water with electrolytes. I even did a little bit of makeup and put my hair up so it was out of my face. My contractions were pretty steady and medium in intensity, and I was feeling good. I texted a few people to let them know labor was starting, including my mom who lives two hours away. I also used the toilet several times which was helpful. (IYKYK)
Joshua took care of arranging our bedroom so there was ample space for the birth pool and getting around. He got my birth ball from the living room, made a sign for the door asking people to use a specific entrance to our room, and even pulled up some funny videos on YouTube to distract me. I’m so grateful he was with me and so supportive during the entire labor, and his energy and optimism during this first stage was so helpful. I labored by myself for the first two hours of my labor with Lydia, and I realize now how much of a help he could’ve been during that time!
I only made it through part of a YouTube video before feeling like I needed to be up and moving. The contractions were getting a little more intense, so I decided to get in the shower. 10/10 I would recommend! I could lean against the wall with my hands and relax my belly during each contraction, and the hot water felt so good on my lower back.
I was really concerned that I would have back labor during this birth due to his posterior position for the previous two months; but thankfully I didn’t have any to speak of! My midwife said that little one must have changed positions either before or during labor because he didn’t come out sunny side up.
When I got out of the shower, things seemed to pick up for a time. I was laboring on the floor on my knees while leaning against the birth ball when Olivia arrived. She got me hooked up to the TENS unit and immediately started hanging fairy lights and putting out little tea lights to help with the ambience. Joshua started playing my labor playlist through the bluetooth speaker when Olivia was getting the TENS unit ready, and was able to continue giving counter pressure as she quietly moved around the birth space. About fifteen minutes later, the midwives arrived.
At this point I was standing up and leaning heavily on my husband during each contraction. Things had gotten MUCH more intense.
The midwives worked very quietly getting everything set up so I could stay in the zone. But just knowing they were there was a distraction. My relationship with my midwives throughout this pregnancy was different than the relationship with my midwife for Lydia’s birth. I did not feel as empowered or encouraged along the way as I did before, and just generally didn’t feel super comfortable around them.
I wasn’t sure how things would play out during labor. It didn’t make labor last longer, but I did have more of a mental block. I said, “I can’t do this,” multiple times during this last stage of labor – which is very common for transition/the last stage of labor, but I didn’t experience it during Lydia’s birth so I was caught off guard. At one point I remember feeling so strongly that I wanted (NEEDED) to open my hands and release tension, and even wanted to sing with the worship music that was playing. But I simultaneously felt like I couldn’t, and I think it was because of part of my birth team. It was a strange head-space to be in.
While I was working through this mental block, continuing to breathe through each contraction, and trying to focus on nothing but getting to meet our new baby, the midwives filled the birth pool. I was so excited to get it in because I knew it would bring some relief. I could tell that things were progressing rapidly because the contractions had continuously moved from higher in my abdomen to down lower in my pelvis. More uncomfortable, more intense, but progress all the same, and for that I was grateful.
When I got in the pool, progress seemed to slow for just a few minutes, which is normal.
I was able to relax for a bit before things really picked up and got VERY intense. The pressure and tightness felt almost unbearable, but I was making it through every contraction. Every one was bringing me closer to my baby. Joshua rubbed my shoulders while I braced myself against him and Olivia rubbed my lower back with massage oil.
Around 7:15 Josh went to get Lydia, during which time I had the only contraction he missed. (It was terrible without him!) When they came into the room, Lydia got to be there for a few contractions. Even though I was very vocal and loud, Lydia did not get upset at all. She patted my arm after each one and said, “All done, mommy!” A sweet friend from church arrived shortly thereafter to watch Lydia for us in the living room.
It was almost time. I was getting so close, I could just tell. But it was so hard. Even though I had only been in the pool for about forty-five minutes, it felt like I had been laboring in there for hours. I could feel desperation setting in. But I started really pushing around 7:20, and then it happened. They could see the head — and I felt the ring of fire. I didn’t feel it with Lydia but SHEW I felt it this time! I gasped for breath and felt like the moment would never end. The song “God of Heaven” was playing peacefully in sharp contrast to my primal wails. (My water broken spontaneously at some point after I started pushing but since I was in the water, I’m not exactly sure when.)
Once the head came out, my midwife said, “One or two more pushes and then you’ll see your baby!” I gasped, “I can’t!” with everyone assuring me that yes, I could. I was so close! And then she said– “Pick up your right foot,” and with one more push Malachi Reid slid into my midwife’s hands at 7:45 am! There is no way to describe the feeling when my baby slipped out of my body into this world!
Euphoria and relief overwhelmed me as endorphins flooded my body and I brought this brand new human to my chest. He was finally here.
I’m so grateful my doula caught these moments on video. Again, it is so hard to describe but truly all I could do was hold my slippery new baby to my chest, breathe huge breaths of relief, and say, “Thank you, God!”
My mom arrived at our house literally at the exact moment Malachi was born. She came through the front door, and Joshua popped his head out and said, “He’s here!” My mom promptly burst into happy tears – but also shock because she was certain we were having another girl!
My husband said, “He’s huge!” And he was! Nine pounds and fifteen ounces – a friend said that I should just go ahead and claim that last ounce – and over twenty-three inches long. He cried out right away, and latched perfectly to nurse just a few minutes after he was born. We did skin to skin contact right away and continued that for most of the first two days. I was able to birth the placenta on my own about half an hour after he arrived. We didn’t cut the umbilical cord for almost another hour, once it turned white and he had gotten everything he needed from it. Joshua was able to cut it just like he did with Lydia.
Everything was taken care of right there in our bedroom and it was wonderful. My mom brought Lydia in to meet her new baby brother and she was instantly smitten, pointing out his baby toes and baby eyes. The student midwife, my doula, and our friend who watched Lydia did our dishes, started laundry, and took care of putting everything away and cleaning up our room while I just snuggled my new little one.
I did have a very small tear but it didn’t give me any trouble or pain postpartum. The SPD took a few days to get better as the relaxin worked its way out of my system. The afterbirth pains were definitely worse during this second postpartum but were basically gone by day five or so. I took specific supplements this time that I believe helped me heal and feel more like myself more quickly than with my first. And our church family was and continues to be incredibly supportive and helpful in practical ways. We are so, so thankful for the community at EFBC.
This birth was wildly intense, and there were moments that were overwhelmingly difficult. But the whole time, I knew it was worth it. I knew my baby was safe. I knew I was strong enough. I knew my husband was there with me through it all. And I knew the Lord would bring me and our sweet boy through the labor of childbirth. I’m so very thankful He gave me the gift of another sweet little one, and the gift of birthing him safely in the comfort of our home.
bethany rebecca 
bethany Thank you for sharing. This was a beautiful story. You are very brave. Love you and you precious family