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Thy mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds. How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. – Psalm 36:5, 7

 

I have fallen massively short recently.

It probably doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it has been for me.

I started blogging once a week at the beginning of the year. It wasn’t really intentional: I just felt inspired, and had the time, to write and post on my blog once a week. After the first three months, I thought, “Yeah. I could really do this once a week for the rest of the year.”

But I didn’t. I failed. As soon as I set the goal, I failed.

Over the past three months, I’ve spent far less time on social media, far less time shopping or browsing, and far less time doing leisurely things (read: alone time). But that time has been filled with more things, good things, things I’ve prayed for: ministry opportunities, new friends, more time to read, getting a dog.

But it still nags at the back of my mind. “Why couldn’t I keep this up? Why am I not as inspired as before? Where is my time disappearing? Why can’t I do this? Why was it so easy before and now it’s not?”

I’m learning some things in this season of not accomplishing everything I want to. The main thing is showing grace and recognizing how much I need it. Grace for myself – not guilt. Grace for the situation – not frustration. Grace toward others when they bump into my plans – not anger. Grace for failing – not disappointment.

Most of all, grace found in my Lord.

He has different goals for me. Those goals aren’t attached to how many people view my blog, how many times I blog in a month, or even how many friends I can make or how often we go hiking or how many books I read. His goals for me are holiness, serving, worshiping, patience, and love.

His goals are not tangible, or numbered, or even felt all the time. They are a process of sanctification.

Sometimes friendship, books, and experiences are part of that. But really, if I would stress about where my time goes, it should be because I’m spending less time in God’s word–not because I spend less time blogging.

The concept of priorities and time has been frequently on my mind. Not only that, but God keeps bringing it up in my Bible-reading and lessons/sermons I hear. What are my priorities? Do I get so wrapped up in my hobbies, interests, and plans that I forget the main thing? Am I so concerned with bettering myself that I ignore opportunities to love and disciple others? Am I too burdened with my own shortcomings and selfishness that I forget that Christ is merciful and ready to forgive . . . that He has already forgiven so much, that nothing is too broken or failed for Him to mend?

More grace. More mercy. I need to show more grace, but I also need to recognize how much grace is shown to me every day. I need to be more merciful, but I must also remember how merciful my Savior is. When I remember His graciousness and mercy, I will more readily demonstrate that in my own life and to those around me.

 

What love could remember, no wrongs we have done
Omniscient, all-knowing, He counts not their sum
Thrown into a sea without bottom or shore
Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

What patience would wait as we constantly roam
What Father so tender is calling us home
He welcomes the weakest, the vilest, the poor
Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

What riches of kindness He lavished on us
His blood was the payment His life was the cost
We stood ‘neath a debt we could never afford
Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

Praise the Lord
His mercy is more
Stronger than darkness
New every morn’

Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

– “His Mercy Is More” by Matt Papa

 

 

 

One thought on “grace upon grace upon grace

  1. I’ve also recently realized I’ve been on a mad quest for self-greatness in certain areas. It plagues us all. Thank you for this grace today.

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